so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
