Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
