I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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