I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
