I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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