I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
