would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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