I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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