I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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