butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
