I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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