marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
