you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
