i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
vagina is talking i cant
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
