I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
