Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
