I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
