just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
