dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
