Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
