You can't special order awesome
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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