smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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