Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
3 2 1 whiskey
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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