Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize