I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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