i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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