I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
