am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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