dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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