I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
