somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
