i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This house was built for laser tag.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
