It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
