It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
