You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
