Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
