dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize