i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
