hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
