Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
