what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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