i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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