shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
