Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have post one night stand depression
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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