Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
