Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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