We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
