OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
