It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
