So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize