we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
