Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
