Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
