Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
