I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
