Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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