She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
