Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
