This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
