And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
