First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
