I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize